On Faking Confidence...

I'm not really the most confident person. But I've learned that to get through life, sometimes you just have to fake confidence. Like when approaching strangers. Or inviting people to do things. Or teaching other people something out of your own 'area of expertise.'

I'm always terrified when I'm teaching my own choreography to my students - no matter if they're 3 or 20. I'm always worried that they won't like it. That it's not good enough. I'm usually pleased with the end-result, but the process really freaks me out. I believe that movement is personal, and when I'm creating that art I'm making myself vulnerable. And I don't particularly like being vulnerable. So I worry what people think. I don't so much worry about what judges think when we go to competitions. They can take it or leave it, I really don't care. But I worry about my dancers think. I want them to be doing something they enjoy.

But I know that if you want people to believe in something, you first have to believe in it. So I fake it. I had the ultimate test for me last night. It's our first week of classes at the studio and one of our teachers already needed a sub. So I took her classes yesterday. One of which was Advanced Hip Hop. Anyone who knows me knows that hip hop is not really 'my thing.' But I shimmied something up and figured I'd make it through okay. Imagine my surprise when 26 people showed up for class. I gave them fair warning and proceeded with the class. And hey, they actually seemed to enjoy it! I even got a few "that was a really cool dance"s afterwards. So I guess all ends well when you fake it.